Living My Message: An Introduction

     "My life is my message."

                                                                                          -Mahatma Gandhi

     On the occasion of Gandhi's 70th birthday Albert Einstein commented that, "Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this Earth." Gandhi lived his life by example; this garnered him a moral high ground and gained him respect, even from those who didn't agree with him. His conviction and belief in what he was doing, and in why he was doing it, shined through his life's actions. 
     Internalizing Gandhi's words, I have begun asking, what is my life's message. In trying to answer this question, I have been trying to honestly examine how I've chosen to live my life. This hasn't been easy; self-reflection rarely is, and it's forced me to confront my many shortcomings.  During this process, I continually remind myself that reflection is not about blame or shame, but rather, it is an opportunity to evaluate what changes can be made. It has been important not to fall into the trap of "what if," or dwell on past failures, but instead, at 46, shortly to be 47,  recognize that I am still, very much, a work in progress.
     When I think in terms of my life's "message," I want to focus on changes in my roles as an educator, husband, and grandfather. In each of these roles, I have strengths and weaknesses. For me, understanding that I have room to grow isn't the problem; after, all I have no illusion or delusions that I'm perfect. Instead, the hard part is being committed to the work of making meaningful change happen. I believe change can only happen when you are truly ready to embrace it.  And seeing how my efforts have benefited me, as well as the people around me, has become a strong motivation to continue this work. I feel ready for the continued challenge of embracing these changes.

Unplugging the Television

      I am an addict. That's right, I am addicted to watching television. How do I know that I'm addicted? Easy, because I often find myself watching programs, just for the sake of watching something. I also don't hesitate to re-watch, if I can't find something new. I watch between 16-20 hours of television each week. What do I watch? Mostly non-educational drivel and sports. Here's a quick list of some of the shows I watch: Castle, Fringe, NCIS, CSI, Bones, and Warehouse 13.
     Three years ago, I tried to address my addiction and ditched my cable. Initially, my viewing decreased; however, I was introduced to online television, and before I even realized what was happening, I was back to watching 3-4 hours of television a night. At first I tried to rationalize that this wasn't a problem, in fact, I focused on the fact that I was no longer paying the cable company for my television. But the truth was that I had simply replaced the delivery system, that I was ignoring the problem. Currently, all of my viewing happens on my computer thanks to: Hulu, ESPN3, and Netflix.
     For the past two weeks, I have been trying to limit my television viewing to a single hour per night. This has been met with limited success. In truth, for the most part I feel like I've failed. Looking back, I see that my biggest problem has been being consistent.  I seem to do fine early in the week, but come Thursday, I find myself watching 3 or 4 shows in succession ( I call this "chain viewing").
     Lately, I've been thinking about why I watch television. Sure, some of it is entertaining, but most of the time I'm just being lazy, or trying to avoid doing other work. So, this week I'm going to try a new strategy: before I can watch any television I need to complete my homework (any work for my classes the next day), and if I don't have any homework, then I can do a household chore to earn my television time.

On the Road to Dandi (Addendum)

     Hope and I just returned from a long walk on the Fern Ridge Bike Path. We walked from our apartment on Bailey Hill Road to Meadowlark Park, a round trip distance of just over nine miles.  While I was walking it occurred to me how good it's been to breathe in fresh air. The act of taking a daily walk has kept me from sequestering myself inside. I've never really stopped to think about how little time I spent outside. Getting outside and exercising improves not only my physical well-being, but, perhaps more importantly, my mental health. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Now, as we quickly move into the time of year that has traditionally been my hardest, when the sun disappears, I feel that walking and breathing in the fresh air will help me to do more than just "hang on" until Spring.

                                                         

                                                          Gandhi on the road to Dandi

On the Road to Dandi

     Yesterday, I passed the halfway point in my quest to walk 241 miles. The 241 miles is significant, as it represents the number of miles Gandhi trekked on his historic Salt March.
     Gandhi’s march was a response to the British government’s refusal to discuss Indian independence. In 1930, when the march occurred, the British held a monopoly on salt. It was actually illegal for Indians to gather and make their own salt. Gandhi saw salt, and the tax associated with it, as being symbolic of British rule.  In an effort to unite his nation, and help propel the country to “swaraj”- self rule, Gandhi led his followers on a march to defy the unjust British law. After Gandhi arrived in the seaport city of Dandi, he went down to the sea's shore and picked up a lump of salt, thus breaking British law. His actions served as a signal, and all across India the people followed his example.
     Gandhi needed only 24 days to complete his march to the sea. He averaged 10 miles a day, stopping at villages along his route, speaking to, and encouraging the villagers to join his non-violent army. 

     After 36 days, I have walked 124.5 miles. On most days I walk a 2 1/2 mile loop when I get home from work; however, the last three weekends I have been walking between 15-20 miles on Saturday and Sunday combined. I hope to complete my march in early November.
     This past week was the first time my commitment to daily walking was really put to the test. Up to this point, the weather had been my ally, but this week the rain came. It would have been easy for me to use the weather as an excuse, and in the past I probably would have, but after more than a month, taking my evening walk, or as the British would say "constitutional," has become part of my routine. So, instead I borrowed Hope's rain gear I walked with the raindrops.
    In terms of my health, the primary reason why I started walking, I continue to feel energized.  My legs continue to feel strong, the rubbery leg feeling that I experienced when I first started is non-existent, even after my longer walks. I also believe that the daily exercise is helping me maintain my weight, which in turn, makes me feel better about myself.  At 46, soon to be 47, I believe I am in the best shape of my adult life.

Speaking No Evil (Part 2)

"Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory."
                                                                                                   -Mahatma Gandhi


      After a week of non-violent speaking, overall, I am satisfied with my efforts.  And while I still have a tendency to sprinkle expletives throughout my private conversations (sorry Mom), I know that I gave my full effort to speaking non-violently.

    
     The aspect of this experiment that I am most proud of is going the entire week without raising my voice in class. On this front, I claim full effort, and full victory. Now, I have always been blessed with a deep bass voice, and this has always seemed like a natural way to make sure my classes got the information I wanted to share. However, the act of not raising my voice whenever the class got loud, or I wanted to be heard, made me aware of just how much of a crutch "yelling" had become in maintaining control in my classroom. I had never stopped to consider that speaking loudly could be construed as a form of violence. Perhaps the greatest revelation that I learned from this experiment is that I didn't need to raise my voice to be heard. Students adapted to the change, and knowing that I wasn't going to raise my voice, they quieted down. For me, this change brought the added dividend of an internal calming. I have felt less agitated and irritable since I started this experiment. I feel more in control of my emotions. Non-violent communication seems to agree with my disposition. My wife, Hope, confirmed this Friday afternoon. Picking me up from work, she commented that I seemed much happier, that I didn't seem so tired or upset at the end of the school day.
      The area of non-violent speaking that I still want to work on is cursing. While I started out strong, I noticed that by the end of the week these violent words were becoming more frequent, although less than at my normal rate of frequency.  A positive note is that I did recognize when I slipped, and the fact that I am being more conscious of my words is a promising trend.
I believe that Gandhi is right, "satisfaction is in the effort" and I am committed to continuing to make non-violent speaking the norm in my life.

Living Simply Part 2

"If each retained possession of only what he needed, no one would be in want, and all would live in contentment."
                            -Gandhi

     Yesterday, I counted the number of t-shirts I currently own, it's 67. I felt embarrassed after I counted them, after all, I know I don't "need" that many t-shirts.  I must admit that I had an entire dresser drawer filled with t-shirts that I hadn't worn in some time. So, I decided it was time again to unburden myself from some of my possessions. For me, simplifying is a process, so the first step was to put all of my t-shirts in a pile. With this done, I began the selection of which t-shirts I would keep, and which I would donate. There were several factors that I took under consideration: age and wear of the shirt (condition), size and fit, last time worn, and sentimental value.
     I spent about two hours creating my keep and donate piles. Every t-shirt needed to be evaluated. For some, it was an easy decision (too big, not comfortable); I even found a couple of shirts that I had never worn. However, like my experience in the storage unit, "sentimentality" was the hardest factor in letting go. I wrestled with the guilt of parting with something, because of the memory attached to it. This seems so irrational, but I can't deny that some of my t-shirts stirred vivid memories that seemed to live within their cotton fibers. In the end, I recognized that I didn't need to retain the object to retain the memory, and those sentimental t-shirts found their way into the donate pile.
     After finishing with my t-shirts, I decided to tackle the rest of my clothes. I made it my goal to be able to house all of my clothes (minus button down shirts, ties, coats, and cardigans) into the four drawers of my dresser.  Since the bulk of my clothes are t-shirts, I needed only a little less than an hour to go through my collection of pants, shorts, sweaters, and sweatshirts.
     Today, I have 24 t-shirts, and while I think it's still more than I "need," they do all fit in a single dresser drawer. I also feel a great sense of satisfaction, in that I now, for the most part, can fit all my clothes in a single dresser. And as I look at the 5 bags of clothes I'm taking to Saint Vincent De Paul's I feel like I've taken another step in liberating myself from my possessions.

                                           24 t-shirts tucked in a drawer

                                           5 bags of clothing donations

Gandhi Speaks

Check out the first Gandhi "Talkie."  I love that he refers to himself as an optimist.